2008 has been an eventful year for you. Yup, you read right, for you. It was a year that saw your investments plummet, and a year that promised you “change”. Change can be good, change can be bad. But change was definitely in the air this year for you.

I suggest that 2008 was the year that big became uncool. Big loans, big debts, big car companies, big wars and big promises. All blew up big and showed us that we need to change our way of thinking. No more spending more than our means and living the big American dream. Maybe the problem was scale. If we thought small, if we cared about the little guy and the little things, we may not be in the big mess that we seem to be in? Maybe we could have set up schools to teach something useful to a group of 20 kids at a time, rather than map out how to spend billions of dollars to conquer countries and seize the big oil?

I am going to, narcissistically, use DesignStamp as an example of why I have always thought that small is better than big. Here are top reasons why:

1. Small and focused = not being anything like the BIG 3. And that’s a good thing.
2. Smaller hierarchical overhead means, we react faster, and create solutions that best meet market and client needs.
3. Our greatest strength is to keep our focus on what we do best. To bring 3 sometimes seemingly contrary worlds together and have them build the same thing: brand, business and technology. Technology simply provides the tools for us to translate business goals and create better experiences that build strong brands.
4. We use fewer resources by not having a big office to maintain and virtualize how we work. We pass that benefit to our clients through reduced costs. We also drive less. Really. We are the masters of modern communication and work with people around the world efficiently and effectively. Our productivity and miles-driven ratio, we hope, is inspiring for other businesses.
5. We spend more time in discovery than we do in execution. Smarter initial questions asked means we spend less in overall budget than large production teams that just build what business owners think is required. Our small team model demands shorter production cycles as do our clients budgets.
6. Our bottom-line effects each of us personally. We are all invested in building a profitable, sustainable business. The level of care is reflected in the work we do. If it won’t look good in our portfolio, we won’t do it.
7. Flexibility is the requirement in this economy. We have always valued that in how we approach projects. Whether it is the size of the team assigned to our project, or the technology we use, we are not married to any particular format/platform, if it is not right for you. Our process has flexibility built right into it.
8. We are not anonymous, we do good work by being personally accountable and maintaining a positive attitude. This creates strong constructive relationships between us and our clients. Most of our clients come back to us for projects, which means we develop a shorthand with them that is invaluable.
9. We partner with our clients. We don’t work as external agencies to just deliver the goods asked of them. We function as partners who can validate business goals with audience adoption and technical constraints.
10. We love challenges and constraints. Designers are trained to not just accept boundaries and limitations, but prove value within them. Designers of buildings and furniture work within the constraints of gravity and space to provide excellent solutions. We do the same within the limitations such as pre-defined budgets of time and costs.

So I suggest that if you are focusing on the right thing you have nothing to fear. Fear is self-perpetuating and only leads to more of itself. Positivity breeds positivity. We value clients who remain positive in challenging times, and we do our best to bring a level of fun to every project.

Our focus is to remain small, and steadfast in what we do, and how we do it. We wish you a fulfilling 2009 in which you see small things bring disproportionate happiness to you!

So what does it mean to me to be good? I am not sure as yet, but here are a few words that come to mind. I told myself that I won’t spend hours and hours on this blog and write from the heart and not the head. So here goes in no particular order:

• Respect. Yup that word again. I believe in this so much that I chide myself when I don’t follow the mantra. It helps me see things more objectively.
• Curious. To want to learn more because I owe it to my craft to be ‘good’ and more importantly, to always be searching for the ‘better’ way to solve problems.
• Caring. From telling someone that their shirt’s tag is showing to giving a team member timely feedback, it is important to “see” people and demonstrate that noticing and acknowledging behavior and yes, even appearances.
• Educate. This I need to do more. I strongly believe that through education you can positively change a life, and this planet’s course is via education. That is why I teach, and if I ever accumulated wealth, that is what I would want to do with my money. Facilitate learning.
• Question. If I want to improve how things are, and make them how they ought to be, I need to remember to think outside the construct and question status quo.
• Happy. If I am happy, I do better work, and I am good to those around me. I owe others to be happy, so I should take the time to do things that make me happy.
• Travel. What better way to appreciate different cultures and ways of living than to see the world. My work, my attitude to people who are different than me is informed by what I think I know about them. I don’t understand how traveling can not be a priority. It’s mine.
• Give. I need to do more of this. But related to “Educate”, for me giving people money or the basics for living (food, shelter) is not the most productive way to change their life for the better. You have to empower people to be able to make choices, to see the world for what it can be for them, and a way out of where they may be stuck. (Gawd, I sound like a preacher, but I have a story that is too long to type, so ask me and I’ll tell you)
• Voice. If you don’t got one, you ain’t going to be able to change nuthin’. If it’s good, than I need to be able to talk about it, start discussions and challenge others to follow. So it’s important to have a clear message about that good thing, and a voice that can be heard.
• Relate. Even if you have to fake it for a bit, you should try and see the other point of view and ‘relate’. World politics could be very different if we stopped trying to vilify nations and whole continents. How about just trying to relate with those people? Why are they hating us so much, and what did we do to make them feel this way?
• Humility. My mamma taught me this. To do good, to be good, and want good things for those around me, I must remember that I am not the best. I am only one person trying to become better because it’s my obligation to do so. Ego is destructive and I am a designer because I want to be constructive.

So there you go, a blog post more for me than you, but I hope that it will ignite a desire in someone, somewhere to not just do, but think a bit about what they do, how they do it, and why they do it.

1. Keeping a customer is cheaper than finding new ones.
2. If you have high churn, you are viewed as selling a commodity not a brand people care for. You will need to start to compete by lowering price which is not a winning game unless you are a volume behemoth like Walmart.
3. Happy customers are more likely to become loyal customers, and loyal customers tend to become cheaper to maintain than servicing the needs of newbies that are partially willing to “try” you out.
4. History is littered with brands who became too big for their own shoes, and started to forget about who made them big in the first place. The happiest brands are those that keep their customers close, and value their experiences as they do their bottom-line.
5. What can your brand do, to make people say “I love [name of your brand here]“. Make people become irrational about their feelings about your brand. The glow that radiates from people in love is infectious. Try telling a Harley-lover that a Honda is better.
6. In the lean times, it’s your brand advocates that will stick by you. Loyalty is difficult to create, and once you have it, you must hold on it, by frequently checking every customer service point within your company (At Rouxbe, the CEO of the company reads every contact form that comes in).
7. Marketers should be part of the design process, so they understand the product that is being built and who it will satisfy. Slapping on marketing messages after the fact doesn’t work. It’s simply too late.
8. Designers should be part of the marketing process, they are trained to be stand-ins for the end-user. Tap into their knowledge to keep the design and the message unified. Apple does this best.
9. Do things differently. The best way to beat your competition is to stand out and be different. Be less annoying than your competition (maybe my bank machine can start to remember what language I speak, and not ask that question each time?), be more caring (don’t tell phone customers they will get through faster by staying on the line, offer to call them back) and more human (WestJet flight attendants crack jokes when making the same old boring “fasten your tray tables” announcements).
10. Be your own customer. Use your product before you unleash it to a market. Design things for yourself, and design the after-sales service for your family and friends. People who don’t know jack about the intricate details about your product. You owe them a good experience.
11. People talk. And in a myriad of new ways. If you run a business that has customers, you ought to be keeping an ear to the ground to listen to what people are saying about you. You should know about the various (new) ways people communicate.

And now a story:

I am on the phone with Fido (BC, where I live, has only 3 major cell phone carriers, sad). I have a nasty customer experience. The agent is unprofessional, absent and not helpful. He has asked me to repeat my mobile number 3 times now. I have been handed from one department to the next, and no one seems to be able to be able to tell me why my account balance is not being accurately displayed online. The call ends with me hanging up in frustration when they finally decide to blame my computer (Mac) even though I KNOW that there is no way that could be the problem.

My tweets during this call:

Sweet revenge.

Flash back, it used to be that when we would have a bad customer experience, we’d grumble about it to others, if the topic came up. Now, I tweet.

Generation Is uses Twitter. A Tweet refers to messages exchanged on Twitter to let people know what you are doing right now. Or what you think or feel about a particular subject. (Learn about what is Twitter and why it’s so popular and stats on it’s usage). So get searching and find out what people are saying about you on Twitter!

So be good to your customers. Bad stories are more fun to tell than good ones. Revenge is more important at times than spreading joy, and more and more,  your consumer understands the power she wields, in this hyper-connected world.

To those who care to know (and Starbucks, if I were you, I would be searching Google everyday to find out what people think of you), here are the reasons why I have made it my mission to seek out alternatives sources to feed my caffeine addiction:

1. Starbucks coffee sucks? To me, the coffee has always tasted burnt. I am not a coffee connoisseur like the good people at 2paths but even to my relatively unsophisticated coffee palette, Starbucks never felt ‘good’.
2. It all began with ‘No free internet’ (Starbucks has changed that, but it’s too late)? Ok, so this is geek reason, but it had a ripple effect that lead to #3. Basically, I don’t understand why I would have to pay a zillion dollars for a “tall” coffee and then pay for a service that should be as basic as providing lighting and mind-numbing muzac.
3. I found ‘others’. Leading from # 2, I started looking for cafes that had free internet. Free internet lead me to cafes with great coffee! Take 5 café in Vancouver is great, as is Caffé Artigiano which has amazing coffee (and terrible baked goods). Lesson: sometimes your ancillary, supporting services are the reason why people buy into your primary brand offering.
4. I heart community. In this world of remote offices and telecommuting, cafés are the new networking opportunity. Starbucks tries to create a strategically comfortable environment with its big arm chairs and carefully positioned mood lighting, but I am thinking that it takes more than just soft cushions to make for a successful third place ! For example: Take 5 café lends its location to geek events in the evenings after open hours (fringe benefit: geeks tend to drink lots of java, and do so during these events too). Result: Now geeks flock to the café at all hours of the day! If you are looking to hire your next freelance coder/designer, chances are you will find them huddled in the back of the café, working on their laptops and guzzling down their third cup of java. Lesson: big brands need to work harder to give managers the freedom to operate each store as an independent business and make ‘authentic’ community contributions not the catch-all ones that are dictated at a corporate level.
5. Anonymous service. I have worked in retail and I have worked for a large global brand, so I know that customer service training can sometimes takes the humanity out of that service. It all becomes a timed science of making eye-contact within x number of seconds and saying thank you in just the right way. Again, I suggest that Starbucks and every other mega retail brand consider going back to the idea of creating “villages” around their stores. Look to hire people who genuinely enjoy people. Look to make each store unique, different and while it can have the comfort of leveraging familiarity of the same logo, same product, it should be courageous enough to respond to a particular community’s needs. Treat that 65 year old customer differently than the 30 year old who buys a low-fat, soya latte with extra foam from you every day. Keep your humanity, and don’t correct the customer when they order a “small” coffee.
6. Laughable brand extensions. OK, I guess I am a bit of a brand Nazi but I don’t want to give my hard earned money to a brand that thinks it’s so beautiful that it should be able to sell just about anything with its logo on it. How many types of tumblers does this world really need? What do plush toys have to do with the primary product i.e. a decent cup of coffee? Lesson: create a brand that is known for what it does best, keep a laser focus on that strength and don’t deviate from that focus. You seem wasteful and self-congratulatory when you overdo the logo placements.
7. I like local more then I like global. When I go to Europe, I resist the temptation of going to any American brand restaurant. Sure it’s easy to order a Royale with cheese at McDs. And it’s a linguistic and cultural challenge communicating with the owner of a petit bistrot. “I am asking for a medium rare steak but I would prefer if the cow were not still breathing when it is served to me”. But McD’s ain’t Paris. And Starbucks doesn’t feel local. If I want to feel posh, I go to 49^th Parallel. I want to feel like I am doin’ the drive so I go to Calabria café with its somewhat garish, fake Italian statues and unpretentious attitude. I want the local environment to impact my coffee experience. I don’t want the same lighting, same music and same artwork comfort but maybe that’s just me.
8. I want to curb the infection and not encourage it. Even if you love Starbucks and can’t live without it, you too would admit that the sheer number of stores that have cropped up in the last few years is a bit nutty. Do we really need a Starbucks store across the street from..another Starbucks? Vancouver seems to be hardest hit by the fungal growth of the green logo stores. “I’ve never seen so much coffee in all my life. The whole town is on a caffeine jag,” said Bette Midler, when she performed in Vancouver.
9. If I were a coffee shop I would be. Picture it, a little cafe with the bubbly, friendly tattooed crazy coffee girl (barista would be too pretentious, and not sure why she is a girl! Frued?). The smell of food and coffee would be mixed and the air would be warm and the music would be Radiohead-ish. Strange but hey, that’s me. I tend to try and use my money to vote up the brands that reflect who I am (or want to be). Little bit of narcissistic anthropomorphism . If I were a coffee brand I hope I am not seen as a Starbucks. Apparently a study of 8000 consumers found Starbucks to be “arrogant, intrusive and self-centered“.
10. I can’t stand the thought of sameness. I said it time and again in this little list, but one of the reasons that I am so fascinated by brand creation and management. I think we need to challenge how good brands are built. The whole idea of sameness is unnecessary. The idea of wrapping a marketing message around a product is such a throwback to the industrial revolution. We are now living in emotional times. I think the future of successful brands flips the equation on its head. As this brilliant article suggests, grassroots brands are cropping up that start with an emotion or thought and then manifest into a product that reflects that emotion best, not the other way around. Starbucks started that way but along the way it seems to have shifted its focus from coffee and experiences around that drink, to growing exponentially. Something got lost along the way and got replaced with this sameness/safeness that I question.

I write this month’s article in the spirit of bringing some joy to my fellow designers. A happy designer is one that has happy clients. There is no greater professional joy than to know that your work matters and is being appreciated by those who use it, and those who pay for it. While clients (those pay for the work) wait to derive happiness from the reaction of the end-user (those that will use it), the design process often precedes that usage. So the client and the designer must work together and alone, against odds, creating work together that has yet to see light of day. Someday the work will be known to, and used by, millions but for today it is tended to and developed by the two people who care most about it.

I have written articles about ethical designers, and I have bantered about how to be a good designer, but this month I write a few tips targeting clients. I think every designer should get their client to read these. And clients: ‘Tis the season to give. So go on, give your designer some love! Here are the 10 things that you can do to share some joy with your designer:

1. Don’t rush it. The first to market syndrome plagues most of the online business world. Sometimes the quality of the final product can be directly proportionate to the time spent on building the product. Ask for timelines from your designer, and work with them to meet your business needs. Consider breaking up your project into phases if necessary. Your customers will love you, not if you launch your product within a month, but if your product actually meets or even exceed their expectations.
2. Design briefs are important. Design briefs help define the problem and the desired solution. It’s important to at least identify the problem that needs to solved, the target audience and the intended impact even before the first pixel is drawn. Good pre-planning and a targeted brief just means that everyone is facing in the same/correct direction. You should be a partner in helping craft this document. It doesn’t need to be a thick document. Good design briefs are short, succinct and capture the key points that help define the project and its requirements.
3. Don’t design for the designer. Don’t ask your designer if they can move that one element 5 pixels to the left or right. Of course they can. But if they are good at their job, everything was done with intention. Good designer lay out grids and work from them, so moving elements means everything could potentially have a ripple effect. They are presenting you the best solution for the design problem you posed to them in the design brief (see #2). If you don’t trust your designer or don’t like their work, the issue may go far beyond the 5 pixel shift. There may be other things that need to shift (either how you relate with the designer or your business to another designer!)
4. Help Manage production. It is important that assets are managed with care during production. I find it humorous to see files names such as “final_final.doc”. It’s good to get used to versioning and working within a structured pipeline to provide assets to your designer because you are ultimately helping them deliver intended results on time. Trust me, more chances that the copy will be correct if you give a file named “About_copy_GD02.doc” for implementation instead of “final_final_07_FINAL.doc”.
5. Communicate. Well! It’s important to define communication protocol early on. Instant Messages and impromptu phone calls are usually not productive because they interrupt the flow of work and catch people unprepared. It is best to define when/how often status and feedback meetings would take place. I find weekly check-ins is a good thing along with the usual stream of emails as needed. Meaningful subject lines and well-formed emails help matters. It is best to not have stream-of-consciousness communication as it can make it difficult for the recipient to follow along and result in misunderstanding and wasted time seeking clarification.
6. Help define expectations. In the end, everyone wants the same thing. A successful project. Success means everyone walks away happy and looks forward to another opportunity to work together. Good pre-planning also means that success metrics are defined and so the end-result can measured against those objectives. This also removes subjective desires or at the very least identifies them. In my experience most people in this world are not bad, lazy or mean. Most misunderstandings happen when expectations are not aligned. Set expectations, develop trust and a plan and then build something good together.
7. Don’t hire in-house full-time designers. The agency model works so much better than having in-house designers. Designers who benefit from being exposed to a diversity of projects, bring fresh energy and perspective to the client work they take on. In-house designers who deal with only one product, one problem at one time, end up stuck in the politics and become colored by the subjectivity that surrounds them. Obvious exceptions are designers who work in large, kick-ass companies where the entire ethos is built around keeping design integral to the company’s mojo. These companies have built successful brands by design and work hard to keep their designers (and thus their design) fresh and innovative e.g. Apple, Google even Harley Davidson!
8. Do some small talk. While familiarity breeds contempt, a lack of humanity and connection leads to communication that is not natural and that can negatively impact project quality. It takes only a few minutes, but connecting with each other at a human level creates a more fulfilling and positive work environment. Some of my best clients are those that I can see myself socializing with. That doesn’t mean that I would socialize with the, but I get them. And that matters.
9. Care about the project. Like a tiny seedling, a project needs to be taken care of, and tended to, by the stakeholders. Neglect, apathy and negativity can severely hinder the project plan and result in ugliness all around. Only hire people you think can care about the project you want them to work on. Don’t hire people who show even the slightest indication of being flippant or bored by your project needs or its objectives. They won’t be able to sustain the energy required in later stages.
10. Respect! If you read the previous points, you know this article is not really about design at all. It is not really even about the final product. It’s about how people come together to achieve common objective. And the process for creation. How people connect, and how the process flows, depends largely on communication and mutual respect. If you have to share a common objective to solve a given problem together in the best way possible than you have to respect each other. Respect is the oil that makes this machine run smoothly. The design process can be fulfilling and rewarding in not only its outcome but in the how the end-result is made. And if there is mutual respect that process can be joyful. That is why our guiding principles are all about respect.

We wish you, our clients and everyone around the world, a joyful festive season. We expect a whole bunch of new-ness next year. See you in 2008!

1. Business owners looking to design or redesign their business websites or
2. Potential practitioners looking to either enter the web design field as newbies or gain some technical know-how on refining their current skillset.

My email inbox continues to have a steady influx of people looking to either ask for additional advice or enquire about how DesignStamp can help them with their redesign efforts.

Most small business owners have a limited budget to spend on their web efforts and sometimes are not even sure why and how a website should be part of their marketing mix. Some start out by hunting for deals, cheap resources that will help get an online identity for their business. The driving logic is “Why should I spend a huge hunk out of a limited kitty if I am not even sure why I am spending this money in the first place”. I will go into those reasons in another article but for now I need to address a more burning issue. That of ethics.

Being an ethical designer and more importantly hiring an ethical designer. Ethical designers may not be the cheapest designer in town and clients who search by price can sometimes fall prey to unethical designers. I write this article to people who may have asked “how much” before asking anything else. I also address this to fellow designers and hope that we are all respecting what we do, and how we do it.

Clients who respect the value of ethics are our favorite clients. Most of our clients grow to value our process and input and understand that we don’t just push pixels for a living. We don’t shove our ethics down our clients throat because we believe it is important that everyone’s collective attention remain on the product being designed not on our philosophies or professional belief system. However, sometimes it becomes important to steer conversations towards our principles.

Our guiding principles focus on the word Respect. Respect for our client. Respect for our product and respect for ourselves.

Indicators that the designer you have hired is ethical.

1. They are able to prove value. A designer should not only make things that look good but also be able to help explain the value of what they design in a larger context. They can help you answers questions such as: Why is a website important to your business? How can you distinguish yourself from your competition? How can you prove benefit to your target audience?
2. They do not work for free. Hard to believe it but some designers will actually create mockups for free. These designers tend to be self-taught armchair designers who are unclear of the value of their own work and will give away generic work in the hopes of generating a portfolio or getting clients who can’t afford professional designers. A designer should not pitch work for free. You, as a client, may expect a proposal of features and benefits for free but you should not expect proposed designs for free. More at no-spec.com.
3. They cannot design in a vacuum. Beware of designers who are able to promise that they can make you a good looking website without even talking to you first. Chances are they are providing you with a template design that may look good but does not speak to your specific needs (both from a business or audience perspective)
4. They are unable to steal. Simply put they will be inspired by the work of others but will never blatantly steal code or images to create identical work for you. Its one thing to copy functionality if you believe that something work’s well. Competition is healthy but stealing is not.
5. They will not undercut. Good designers know the value of their own skills and input into a project and will not wait to find out what a competitors charges to undercut prices and steal business.
6. They offer tangible and intangible products. Good designers are able to prove value for both their intangible and tangible products and processes. An ethical designer follows a tried and true design process and can bring value at any stage of that process, not just at the end when they deliver a physical interface or design. You should look for designers who offer consultancy services for intangible processes such as uncovering needs, market research, competitive analysis, design research, usability reviews etc.
7. They give back. Every business has a responsibility to give back to the community in which they live. Ethical designers believe in creating strong design communities and will share resources, tips and techniques with other designers.
8. They listen. Designers who realize that they have an enormous responsibility of representing the end-user and aligning business goals to user objectives cannot help but be good listeners. They will pay special heed to understanding the context in which they are designing and ask lots of good questions to help educate themselves.
9. They love what they do. This is a bit subjective but in my experience there is a direct correlation in a designer who truly loves what he/she does for a living and how they conduct themselves in a professional manner. Designers who appreciate their role and revel in the power and responsibility of design will function as consummate professionals.
10. They will work for projects they can stand behind. This is a toughie. Everyone has differing views on what is right and what is wrong. Some designers will never work for Nike because they have heard of Nike’s dealings with alleged slave labor. Others will have no qualms of working with Nike even though they know of this issue but do not condone Nike’s behavior. To me, as long as I can justify my work, my involvement and am able to include a piece of work in my portfolio and have pride in claiming it as my own, I will work for that client. Everyone should have an informed point of view and be able to stand behind their work, whatever their stand on the issue.

I wanted to be skilled in the media of creative production,
wanted to become adept with tools that could deliver my art. I wanted
to act as a bridge for those who were disenfranchised from the luxuries
of media production, and provide their stories a means to be seen and
heard instead of being drowned out by the din of corporate advertising
and homogenized entertainment. So I enrolled in the VFS Digital Design program,
despite the fact that I had had only used my computer for writing
poetry, and the extent of my familiarity with the web involved checking
email and occasional haphazard browsing.

With an excess of faith in myself and not too much forethought, I
jumped on the digital bus, and found myself suddenly committed to a
great and grueling passage, a blur of insomniac nights editing videos
and crash courses in software languages that felt as foreign to me as
Chinese. It was digital boot camp. Learning HTML made me want to tear
off my nose. Photoshop made me weak in the knees. The magic of
cinematography, lighting, sound, editing, motion graphics made me
tremble. It was the way I had felt holding a paintbrush for the first
time; as if the gates were opening out of a small grey world, into an
infinitely vivid and endless landscape. I now had the potential of
creating fluid alchemical multimedia compositions that communicated what
words or static images alone could not.

But it is one thing to be five years old and delving into new media;
it is another to feel like a clumsy novice when you are pushing thirty.
My ego took a nosedive. This was furthered by the fact that most of my
compatriots were far more experienced than I, whereas I was a beginner
at all of them. I felt like I had been thrust into a graduate course in
trigonometry without ever having learned how to add or subtract.

Then, suddenly, we graduated. We dispersed, some returning to native
lands to seek employment, to Korea, San Francisco, New York, Venezuela,
Mexico. My girlfriend and I got evicted because the landlord sold our
house. I spent a few transient weeks wandering beaches, staring at
seaweed and mumbling to myself about blending modes. Then I started
taking photos of the seaweed and playing with them in Photoshop and
waking early with my video camera ready, to shoot the crows flying over
the house at dawn. Slowly, with the recovery of relatively normal
eating and sleeping patterns, the deeper realization of the potential
applications of all I had learned sank in. Once overwhelming tools of
media were finally beginning to feel familiar, I was writing again,
drawing again, breathing again.

I got freelance work, here and there, mostly volunteered to
non-profits with high values and low budgets. I dug deep into my
pockets, bought a new shirt, and went to interviews looking sharp. To
no avail. The businesses that had the capacity to pay me were, in most
cases, whose total lack of social or environmental ethics sickened me.
I had made it through an agonizing year of training in the incredible
media of creation and communication only to get slammed by the fact
that, in this world, skilled people are generally hired by companies
who are proud to include Nike and Coca-Cola on their client list. Since
I was fifteen after researching sweatshops, I had wanted to blow Nike
up. My morning reading of the alternative press told me about kids in
India that were suffering diseases from dehydration, now that Coke had
opened a factory near their village, sucked up their water supply and
polluted their aquifer. I did not want to sell out.

Moreover, when prospects came to me, I was afflicted by hesitation.
I knew I could excel in this field, I knew I possessed a unique
perspective and talent, but I felt like I was trying to get a job
building rocket ships after a few courses in mechanics. I cursed the
Digital Design program for being only one year long and cursed myself
for not building my skills up beforehand. I needed more time to become
adept with these complex and powerful media before meeting professional
demands, let alone being picky about job offers, but I also needed an
income.
So I wrestled with the demons of my doubts as I struggled with the
dilemma of what to compromise in order to achieve security. Tightened
my belt, sucked up my pride, and asked my mother to lend me money for
another month.
At long last, I found two glimmers of hope:

1. I made contact with a producer who expressed deep interest in my
   proposal for a documentary on leaders of the global peace movement.
   With a successful track record behind her company, she seemed confident
   that funding could be obtained.
2. Simultaneously, I discovered that the deadline for the national production program with the CFTPA

   was December 16th. In another three months (after my birthday) I would
   be ineligible. I had one shot. This mentorship would enable me to offer
   my skills to a production company that may prioritize social and
   political progress over its profit margin. The CFTPA would cover the bulk of my salary.

My path, which had been buried under thick fog for three months, was coming clear.

And this is where I find myself, reckoning with self-realization, in the dark Vancouver winter.
Still sitting in internet coffee shops, spending countless hours
preparing and revising my letters of intent, tailoring emails to
potential references, and doing my very best to tackle this vision of a
life in which my work, my gifts, my art, my politics and my soul can
manifest in a world that so often seems bizarre and berserk to me.
Still burning the wick at both ends, editing footage of birds and
vagabonds, doing After Effects tutorials, making art. Proceeding.
Sometimes falling flat on my face. Sometimes with full throttle
faith.